Tag Archives: Simulation

Review, Video Games, Writing, XboxWorld

Goat Simulator

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When I agreed to review Goat Simulator for XBW I was prepared to get my snark on. I was geared up to rip it a new one, lament at how the democratisation of technology is a double barrel shot gun to the head of games quality, because on the one hand now everybody plays games so people make games anybody can play, and conversely allows anyone to make games so nearly everybody does, both which have affected the quality of the games we play.

But after playing Goat Simulator for a mere 5 minutes, my mind changed. Because, despite of everything, this game is FUN. Even though it’s full of flaws it’s still very much a fun game. And people have fun blowing up spaceships and jumping onto ledges and simulating armies of orcs and goblins, so why not have fun being a goat? After all, that’s meant to be the whole idea of games, right? It’s so ludicrous that it can’t do anything but make you laugh and smile.

The game is simple as hell. You’re a goat, and your goal is to create as much havoc as possible in the open world playground you find yourself in. Think of it as GTA, but instead of a homicidal maniac, you’re a goat. Or Skate, but instead of a skater, you’re a goat. You run around using the sticks to control the goat and the camera, and headbutt with the right trigger. Running into objects causes the physics engine to do its work, sending shit flying everywhere, racking up points. The more damage you do and the more tricks you string together, the higher your multiplier. Tricks include licking things with the X button, which acts as a kind of rubber band on items. You jump with the A button, meaning you can do some platforming and mid-air acrobatics. Press B and you fall into rag-doll. You can manual as well, that is walk on your forelegs, by flicking the sticks up and down, which is incredibly hard to pull off.

Part of the joy of the game is experimenting with the physics. Seeing what you can lick, hit and jump on. You can climb ladders and jump off highrises onto trampolines and be flung across the map on air vents. You can ragdoll in empty pools, effectively skating them. Of course, the game isn’t too well polished, and you can end up in some very odd situations. You can get your goat’s head stuck in things. Sometimes you’ll hit the right combination of things and get flung forever or through a building. In any other game this would be frowned upon, by the creators gleefully tell you if you do get weirdness beyond the normal, just respawn. It’s not like you have lives or a mission or anything to worry about losing.

Mutators are probably the best part of the game. What’s a mutator? Why mutators mutate your goat, obviously. By pressing Y, these allow you to do silly things like double jump, or dance, or spin really fast in a circle, or float, or tie rockets to your goat’s back, or turn into a giraffe. You can combine these all together, so pressing Y might make you shoot off your rockets and then float.

The game is full of surreal moments. It was, mutated into a giraffe, when I was laughing like a little kid on too much red cordial – as you run about, terrorising the humans who populate the world, they say stupid shit like “Never trust an animal with 4 hoofs” and “is that a goat?”. As the giraffe, hearing someone say “is that a goat?” is just perfect. Another surreal moment was finding an elevator and riding it to open to a rooftop nightclub. As I terrorised the club I ended up head butting the DJ, who is in a Deadmou5 helmet, and then found the helmet stuck on my head and the electrobeats pumping every time I pressed the Y button.

There are achievements in the game, with a long list of things to do when you start the game, as well as xbox live achievements. One problem with the in game achievements is they reset every time you start a new game, which feels a bit cheap. It doesn’t really record what you have done, so there’s absolutely no sense of progression. Luckily you keep your mutators. There are also goat collectables, and finding these unlocks more mutators. There are also timed races, where you can add your score to the global rankings. One nice thing about the Xbox One version is you can play local multiplayer. Obviously, this makes the ridiculous become even more so, as 4 player wreak havoc on an unsuspecting town.

But one of its major flaws is it is ugly. Not only do the physics do odd things to your goat’s head, stretching the textures weirdly, other game textures and models are pretty blocky and basic. It adds a kind of charm admittedly, but at the same time we are dealing with what is meant to be next generation gaming here. Not all games need to be super realistic, but games are meant to have a certain degree of finesse, and this lacks it.

It’s not a long lasting game either, as there’s no real sense of progression from session to session. Although there is a lot to explore and find – it is fun trying to get to the high places in the map and grab that collectable in the container – the two worlds you get to choose from do feel quite small compared to other open world games. There’s no real reason to return to the game, either. I’ve probably only played it for 4 hours, and that’s more than enough. I’ll show it to friends, have a laugh, but I’m not going to play it and come back to it later, like I do with FIFA or GTA, even for the xboxlive achievements.

Conclusion.
Ok, so how to rate this game? It’s buggy. It’s ugly. It’s ridiculous. It’s fun. It has a charm that is quite unique to this game. But is that enough?
Well, for $10 bucks, yeah.

Pros:
Unique charm
Surreal and funny
Lots to explore

Cons:
Very Ugly
No sense of progression
Gets boring after a few hours.

70/100

Review, Video Games, Writing, XboxWorld

Playboy: The Mansion

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SEX! Do I really need to say any more to get your attention? It's the PLAYBOY game – of course you're interested! But is it any good?

Hugh Hefner realised the importance of the Playboy rabbit logo himself when he first wrote his Playboy Philosophy in 1962. “We first became aware that Playboy was developing into something more than a magazine when readers began purchasing Playboy products in considerable quantities,” he wrote. “Everything from cufflinks, ties, sport shirts, tuxedoes and bar accessories to playing cards, personalized matches and stickers for their car windows –all with the Playboy Rabbit as the principal design and principal motivation for the purchase.”

This logic still seems to apply some 43 years later, as the Playboy logo has been plastered all over Playboy The Mansion (PTM from here on in) which is essentially a more risqué but less satisfying version of The Sims.

There are two modes of play – Mission and Freeform play, but they’re essentially the same game. Freeform play allows you to take your own pace in building up your magazine empire whilst Mission has little goals that you must achieve to proceed in the game. I found the Mission play to be a lot more interesting as you’re given a lot more to try and do, and you get a sense of satisfaction once you’ve completed the goals. The gameplay just isn’t deep enough to keep you satisfied in Freeform mode.

Unlike the Sims, you don’t get to create your own avatar in the game but rather are given the avatar of Hugh Hefner to guide through his loves and career. Thankfully this is the young Hef, at the age he was when he created his empire, and not the wrinkly viagra swilling old man he is now. Furthermore you don’t get to make your own house, but get the choice of two ‘Mansions’ – old and modern – and this is pretty much decorated for you. You start with a reasonable amount of money, so any you can proceed to make rather sweeping changes, plus buy rather good items right from the word go. Thus, some of the more enjoyable aspects of the Sims have been removed from the gameplay right off the bat.

Luckily the other aspects of PTM are reasonably well put together so that you’re kept interested. The main goal of PTM is to build a magazine empire, and to do this you’ve got to make a name for yourself by throwing the biggest parties and hiring the best staff. A magazine is only as good as those who contribute, and Hef needs help running his magazine – after all, he’s off socialising with all the playmates! So to get your first edition to the stands you need to hire a journalist, a photographer, and a Playboy Model. These can be found in the Roster Menu, accessed by pressing down on the D-Pad. This is essentially your little black book, where all the people you can meet at a given time are located, and is divided up into those you have in the Mansion, Available Staff, Celebrities and Inner Circle.

Under the Available Staff menu there is a list of people available for hire, and those with the most stars are the best; they’ll take the best pictures, they’ll pose well and write excellent articles and interviews, but are also the most expensive to hire per month. Once you’ve hired your staff, its time to put them to work. Each magazine needs six items of content – a cover shot, centrefold, pictorial, essay, interview and article. For the pictorial and article all you need to do is ask your photographer and journalist to do one, give them a wad of cash, and off they go. For a centrefold, you need to find your playmate and ask for a centrefold.

Taking the photos is real simple. You choose your location (The Mansion, Upper Floor, or Pool) and place your model. A Camera lens appears on the screen, and you can put the model in a wide variety of lingerie, both full body and topless. You can change the colours of the clothing, accessorise with jewellery, and then get them to pose by pressing the Y Key. In pose mode, they seek out any props – bed, couch, shower, etc and drape themselves in that suggestive playboy manner. And then you can proceed to take photos of the floor, and publish them.

Yes, the girls do not even have to be in the photo as it depends on the skill of the photographer and model as to whether it is a good photo, and nothing to do with the actual shot itself. This is very disappointing, as there is the whole rigmarole of buying props to pose on, and dressing your model up (or down) when in the end it means nothing to the overall quality of the shoot.

The cover shoot is done in the same way as the centrefold, but like the essay and interview, require you to be friends with Celebrities. This is where the party throwing comes into play. You have to invite certain celebrities to parties and get to know them well enough to ask them for a centrefold, essay or interview. Each person has 3 Drive Meters – Leisure, Entertainment, Professional – and 3 Relationship Meters – Casual, Professional and Romantic. The Drives are modified by the surroundings, and that’s why it’s important to buy things for the house, such as games, bars, bookshelves, food tables, stereos and so on. On the whole people will satisfy their own Drives, but you can also order a person to follow you and get them to use an item if you notice their drives are low. Certain items, such as the Trampoline or Staff Desk can also increase a celebrity’s star rating by increasing their various stats, although I found it better just to fire those with low stats and star ratings and hire new people, as there are no penalties for firing people – they don’t even dislike you!

The Relationships Meters are modified by the way you talk to people. When Hef meets someone, he can concentrate his conversation on the 3 relationship meters, and when one of these gets high enough, they become friends with him. Fortunately Hef is one very charismatic person, and he doesn’t have to try hard at all to get these meters filled. After a few chats, most people are very friendly with Hef and agree to do what is asked of them. It is here where you can invite people into the “inner circle”, which means celebrities will just come over for a visit and hang. This is good for getting essays and articles from a variety of people when you are low on money, because they don’t expect expensive parties or invitations.

Of particular note is the Romantic drive, which only females have. Get this high enough, and you get the option to have sex with the person Hef is chatting to. If only it were this simple in real life, as only after a few presses of the D-Pad you can be doing the horizontal boogie with people you just met minutes before. Sure, we all know that Hef is a ‘playa’ even today, but I’m confident enough to say he never found it this easy. There is no challenge here at all, and it lessens the experience. If it was difficult to pick people up and go for some rumpy pumpy, then it might actually be something worthwhile, but it seems vacuous and like taking photographs, is rather disappointingly implemented. At least the animations are funny.

Once you have your content, it’s time to put the magazine together. Pressing up on the D-pad opens the Magazine Menu, and here you choose your content, and choose your market. The Market is an interesting concept, as it forces you to examine your content a little more carefully as the game goes along. There are various sectors – political, musical, sport, and so on, and by having the right articles, you can win a higher market percentage and make more money. For example, if politics is of interest in a particular month, getting a scientist on the cover, interviewing a politician, and having a pictorial of national monuments will do better than an article focusing on sport.

As markets change over time, it’s good to have a wide range of celebrities with different interests around so you can focus on different markets and maximise your profit. You can also determine your ad content and cover price, which also affect profit. This part of the game gives a depth that are lacking in the relationship and photo taking sections, and if they were as well conceived as this section the game would be better for it. It’s still a little on the light side, as it would be nice to be able to manipulate the readership more, but as it stands it’s surprisingly deep, compared to the rest of the game.

Another disappointing aspect of PTM are the graphics, particularly the character models. The characters all look too similar, and it is difficult to discern one from another, especially when throwing the bigger parties. Any “real life” celebrity retains some semblance to their real life counterpart, but the sameness of the characters diminishes their impact. The rest of the art is fine however, and the mansion can look rather cool in photo shoots. The sound is all in Simmish – I would have loved to hear some of Hef’s pick up lines, or some of the Celebrity reactions rather than the muted nonsense that is there, but that’s a minor quibble. The music, on the other hand, is superb. There are 8 stations to choose from with a wide variety of styles and tunes featuring everything from hiphop to jazz to rock, plus you can add your own stations with Custom Soundtracks.

Conclusion:
Playboy The Mansion just doesn’t have the inches to penetrate the market it’s after. It’s too limp to be a real contender in the simulation market. Sure, it’s got boobs and sex, but they’re too easy to get these in this game. Much of the fun in getting into a sexual relationship comes from the thrill of the chase, and in PTM that chase is three or four clicks long and then your prey rolls over. If it were a little more difficult to get what you wanted the game would be much more alluring. The empire building aspect is quite engaging, but it doesn’t go deep enough to keep you stimulated for very long.

Pros:
Boobs and sex galore!
The magazine market aspect is surprisingly in depth.
Excellent music score

Cons:
Way too easy to get what you want.
Not enough depth in other areas of the game.
Character Models look too similar
Some bugs with navigation and animation.

70/100

Review, Video Games, Writing, XboxWorld

The Urbz: Sims in the City

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Without hyperbole, the Sims is the biggest computer game ever. It crosses every arbitrary marketing category you can think of – Age, Sex, Country, Income, and appeals to both the hardcore and casual gamer in a way that no other game can begin to touch. The move to consoles with essentially the same gameplay as to the PC version was a gutsy move, but it just didn’t sell as well as it did on the PC. EA and Maxis have decided to take a different route and rather than opting to simply port it’s the inventively named sequel The Sims 2 to consoles, they’ve invented a whole new game.

Enter the Urbz: Sims in the City. Taking its cue from the exclusive ‘Get a Life’ mode featured in the original Sims for consoles, the Urbz presents a much more goal-orientated gameplay than the Sims. The open style gameplay, the non-story focus that has defined the Sims franchise has been hamstrung, but that’s not a bad thing.

Like the previous Sims, you get to make your sim from a range of templates, which are quite mutable and customisable. The Sims have always has a “simness” about them, but this time they seem a little funkier, and more like a caricature akin to those Bratz dolls. Unlike the other games, you don’t get any clothes apart from the ones you’re given when you start. Furthermore, instead of choosing a neighbourhood, you and up to four other user controlled sims move into an 98th Ave, 3rd Floor Apartment, provided by your friend will.i.am. Yes, the will.i.am from Black Eyed Peas. Real Urban. It’s a very small apartment, and you have a few items in your inventory and $300 to spend.

The focus in the Urbz all about building your reputation throughout the city in order to become a big “playa”. To gain rep, you meet urbz and talk to them. The more urbz you talk to and the more often you talk to them, the more your rep builds. It’s the same principle as the “social need” in the Sims 2. To meet people you move a cursor with the left and when an urb is highlighted, press A to interact with them. You can move the camera around to get a better angle using the right stick. In fact, this is the way you interact with all objects in the game, and hasn’t changed much from the previous consol version. It’s relatively easy to use, although sometimes you can feel a little lost. In addition to this, there is a new interface tool in the form of the XAM. It’s an in-game PDA Phone that is used to display messages, to call other Urbz, and to keep track of your inventory, goals and relationships. Pressing the X button pauses the game and brings this device up.

When talking to any urb, you get a range of options that appear green, yellow or red, and this tells you how successful the option will be. This makes the game rather easy. It takes all the guesswork out, and you can build your reputation really fast just by choosing the green option all the time. Certain urbz will have skills to teach you, or tasks for you, and you have to be on friendlier terms with them to unlock the social moves or the tasks. One such task requires you to change another urbz’ appearance. To do this, you have to get friendly enough with the urb to invite him to join your “crew”, and you can then control them when you’re in the same district, or invite them to a new district. The higher your rep goes, the more things are unlocked – new social moods to show off to your friends or to gain new ones, new equipment used to boost your skills for working (more on that later) and new districts of the city.

But you’ve got to be able to walk the walk to talk the talk, and you’ve got to look stylish when doing it. At the start you don’t choose personality or starsign, but your social group. There’s a whole range of stereotypic “urban” groups here: There’s the ravers, with their glowsticks and neon that hang in Japan-inspired Neon East. There’s Kicktail Park where all the skater dudes hang out and grind the scenery. The Foundry is where all the arty types read Kafka and make Sculptures. The punks hang out at the Central Station train station, whilst the bikers like to hang at Gasoline Row. The hiphop and R&B lovers live on the rooftops of Skyline Beach, whilst it’s a lot more chilled over on Cozmo Street. The high rollers gather at the South Side Bridge, whilst the rich and gorgeous like the dizzying Diamond Heights. At first, only the district belonging to the crew you want to hang with is open.

Each district has own unique feel, and to get anywhere you need to fit in by buying new clothes and accessories to match the look of the locals. Each district has a bouncer guarding a VIP club that everyone who’s anyone hangs out at, and to progress through the game you have to get by that bouncer by being popular enough with a high rep, and also have to be dressed to impress. Clothes in the style of the district can be bought in each area in easy to find shops. But to buy the clothes, you need money, and luckily each district has a specific job for you. For example, at Kicktail Park, there’s a skate ramp you perform tricks on. At the Foundry you make sculptures. At Cozmo Street you’ll be working in will.i.am’s bar, whilst Diamond Heights offers modelling. All these jobs are completed in the same fashion – by following a sequence of button pushes on screen. These are really quite simple, even on the higher stages of the job. There’s three stages to each job, and to progress in a job you need to build up one of 3 skills – Artistic, Mental and Strength. These are built up with devices that are unlocked and can be purchased at cash registers throughout the city.

Unlike the other Sims games, building and object acquisition is no longer that important. Your apartment is more of a place where you build skills with the special items, sleep and shower. You can decorate it with items purchased from cash registers in each district of the city, including wallpapers and so forth, but you spend so little time there it doesn’t seem worth it. Your urbz’ needs, which like previous games need to be satisfied, are really easy to satisfy. Sleeping is quick – a few hours will fully recharge you, and your hunger and fun quotients deplete slowly and replenish quickly. Furthermore, in each district there’s a bed and wardrobe and sink anyway, so you can pretty much spend your whole time in an area without needing to go home.

The graphics of the game as mentioned before are quite stylised. The locations aren’t huge, but they are bright and colourful, even in the Artsy and punk areas. The Urbz look different from each other, but sometimes it is hard remembering who is whom, especially when they’re all partying in the VIP rooms. The interaction between the Urbz is often cute and humorous in that way only sims are. When as social move is activated, the camera zooms in and looks quite cool, and the animations are fun if somewhat a little cliché, like the ‘techno’ move which suits the ravers to a tee! There’s a little bit of slowdown when there’s a lot of urbz on screen, and the camera can sometimes get stuck looking at odd things when it’s zoomed in on a social, but it’s nothing too extreme. There are loading screen when ever you change location, clothes (either via a wardrobe or shop) that take almost too long however.

Sound wise the game is really good. Each district has it’s atmospheric sound – the Foundry sounds industrial, Central Station has trains and a tannoy, and so on. The Urbz speak in simmish of course, but in an interesting move EA has licensed music from popular artists the Black Eyed Peas, who re-recorded nine of their songs in simmis!. Will.i.am also recorded the other music in the game, which touches on popular existing tunes but gives them simmish lyrics – you’ll recognise quite a few tunes and find yourself humming along. There’s a range of music to suit each District

Conclusion:
The re-focussing of the gameplay makes it easy to pick up and play, and you can spend an hour or two with it without getting bored or feeling too involved. The mini-games, whilst repetitive, are fun, and it beats clicking the mouse button and waiting for a skill to increase. You won’t be sitting there for hours waiting for your urb to sleep, or get home from work, or shower, and so forth. The goal oriented gameplay may put off hardcore fans of the original games, having the Sims and all the add ons, as well as Sims 2 on PC, and I find the concept refreshing.

I would have liked the building and object acquisition to be a little more worthwhile than it is, as that is a big aspect of the original and brings out the interior decorator and architect in all gamers. The game does hold your hand a little too much, making it rather easy to play and to succeed, but all in all this is a game that is well suited to console gamers, as well as those who like the Sims franchise.

Pros
Much more goal orientated gameplay, but still has The Sims feel.
Oozes a unique and cool style in all aspects of the game
The music is a crack up

Cons
Building and Object collecting have been greatly devalued in terms of gameplay.
Can be a little too easy
The loading times seem a little long

83/100