Tag Archives: Fowlers Live

dB Magazine, Event, Review

Suicide Girls @ Fowler’s Live

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Last time I covered for Eddie Chan, I got to interview a hot Asian naked female wrestler, and watch one of the funniest DVDs I had ever seen, which also happened to feature hot naked chicks wrestling. So, when Eddie pulled out of reviewing the Suicide Girls, I jumped at the chance to review them. I mean, come on, free naked chicks, how could a single heterosexual man pass on that offer?

Well, having spent the evening surrounded by non-conforming conformists all dressed in black listening to crap music, I can safely say I will NEVER cover for Eddie again. I used to think the most un- erotic thing I could witness was a Liberal Party orgy. I was wrong. The most un-erotic thing I can witness is staring at the back of some greasy haired wannabe goth wanker whilst hot topless girls bounce around on a stage I can’t see.

Because the way Fowlers Live was set up, if you were anywhere but at the front you got the glimpse of a beautiful perfectly formed breast bounce into your vision, then spent the next 5 minutes staring at the gel fighting with the hairspray in some stupid ‘I’m so hip’ hair. You may think that’s harsh, but the dude had a rats tail for Christ sakes. In 2006! That’s just WRONG!!

As for the show itself, if it was burlesque then I’m a trained ninja assassin whose next job is to kill the president of Zimbabwe so that America can continue enforcing its New World Order! In case you don’t know me from a bar of soap, I’m not a Ninja Assassin – In typical Napoleon Dynamite fashion, I don’t have any skills – and even if I did I wouldn’t be in the employ of GW Bush. The suicide girls put on a simple strip show, devoid of the humour and social commentary of a typical burlesque show. In fact, the Simpsons episode where they sing ‘we put the spring in Springfield’ was more burlesque, and thus more erotic, than this pile of, it has to be said, rather good looking flesh.

I also have to make mention of the fact that after a 3 hour wait for this particular act, I was a little inebriated by the time they come on. I’m normally a sober, patient man, but waiting 3 hours whilst some moron in a mask does boring magic tricks with a dildo, followed a band with a lead singer dressed in a blouse, is enough to drive even the Pope to drink. So once the girls started strutting their stuff, I whipped out my phone and started writing notes, knowing I’d be unable to remember most of the show afterwards, considering the fact I could even see my phone was a miracle even Jesus would be proud of. The next thing I know I had some fucking ape clench my arm, and demand I stop taking photos. I tried to patiently explain I was writing notes, and even showed him my phone, but the hairy cunt threatened to throw me out if he saw my phone in my hand again.

So, would I recommend the Live Suicide Girls Burlesque show to anyone? Not on your life. I suggest you go to the website www.suicidegirls.com and sign up, because you’ll see more titties there, and you can join the massive number of FOUR South Australian’s who’ve actually contributed money to them and their website.

Event, inthemix.com.au, Review, Writing

The Herbaliser @ Fowlers Live

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5/09/2003

As Miss Ribbon was quite unwell, I stepped in to take her place as reviewer for the night, not that I was going to miss the Herbaliser anyway! Having seen them way back in 1997, I’ve seen them each subsequent time they’ve been in Adelaide since, and am yet to be disappointed.

I got there just as Noodle & The Activist were ending their set. From what I heard, it sounded like it would have been a lot of fun, with lots of b-boy party breaks from Ugly Duckling, the Beastie Boys, and the like, which always gets a party moving.

Then Red Monika came on, and having never seen them I was interested in what they have to offer. Well, I was NOT disappointed, as these guys rock. Adelaide’s answer to the Beastie Boys perhaps! Full of youthful energy and funky rhymes, the guys were running all over the stage, and keeping the crowd very entertained. I don’t know any of the tune’s names, but I particularly liked when they pulled the girl on stage and sung about sex. It was a very humorous moment! And the MC they referred to as “Broken” because of his crippled leg is one of the finest beat boxers I’ve heard in ages. Not nearly as good as Rhazel (then again, who is?), but a million times better than Timberlake!

Reflux played a decent effort after the Red Monika boys, but didn’t have the energy to keep the dance floor sustained, and the floor emptied of crew as they wet their whistle with the very generous bar prices. I’m not normally one to rant about prices… beer is beer and my philosophy is if you want to drink it you will, but it’s damn nice to get decent change from a fiver for a pint!

As Reflux finished up, the crowd grew again as we waited in anticipation for the Herbaliser. Starting off playing the wickedly named “Verbal Anime” acapella feat Rakaa Iriscience from Dilated Peoples over the top of Eminem was simply the start of an amazing mash of vocals and instrumentals, expertly cut and scratched by Ollie Teeba and well timed by Jake Wherry. Seemingly working off pure sound alone, not appearing to talk to one another, they worked to produce some amazing blends of tunes that were unexpected and yet sounded spot on.

My favourite part of the set came next when they pulled out the old 45’s, playing new sampled material over the original funk tunes, then morphing into an all funk set. This gave Adelaide a taste of what “diggin’ in the crates” REALLY means, as they played tunes that still rock the dance floor 40 years on. It’s great to experience some of the old Northern Soul vibe and tunes from an era and part of music history that is all but unknown in Australia. The problem with these records is that they’re rather fragile, as demonstrated as Jake picked up half a record off the platter with a cheeky grin.

After the funk, they started to play old school hiphop, which is fairly typical for the Herbaliser, but showing their true colours they had to mess with our minds a little. As Grand Master Flash’s “The Message” played, softly at first and then becoming louder in the mix was a tune I never thought I would ever hear in either a Herbaliser set, nor mixed with this fine tune. One minute we were dancing to “The Message”, and the next “Crazy In Love” by Beyonce! And then, to make it that much more humorous, the guys mixed a Timberlake song with DJ Food’s Spiral, which had me in open mouthed amazement!

It’s this sense of fun that makes me a huge fan of the Herbaliser and the Ninja Tunes stable in general, and will have me raving about them until next time they come. I’ve seen them four times now, and have never gotten bored like I do at other shows *cough* drumandbass *cough* as they play the most unexpected tunes in an unconventional yet very cool manner, and seem to get into it as much as the audience. The Herbaliser were indeed wicked, and are a must-see for any fans of hiphop and funk. Let’s just hope that next time they visit Adelaide they bring the 8 piece band for the ride!